The Highly Sensitive Person book cover In her national bestseller, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, author Elaine . The Highly Sensitive Person: Six research-based books about high sensitivity, relationships and self-esteem by Elaine Aron. Dear Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or anyone raising a highly sensitive child ( HSC),. Welcome. I'm Elaine Aron. I began researching high sensitivity in
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Browse our editors' picks for the best books of the month in fiction, nonfiction, The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D. Paperback. Editorial Reviews. chausifetonis.cf Review. Are you an HSP? Are you easily overwhelmed by According to author Elaine Aron (herself an HSP), sensitive people have the 'This remarkable book speaks clearly to highly sensitive people. The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D. () Paperback on Used books may not include companion materials, may have some shelf wear.
It specifically refers to being "in" or "out" and whether the quiz taker leans too far in one direction or another. According to this quiz I am just on the cusp of being inside too much.
But the wording of the question or her decision of how to score it is problematic. I do not see the issue of spending most of my time inside or alone, nor do I see a problem with stopping with my activity if I feel a little too overwhelmed to continue and need a break. Being out more often won't help me be happier or somehow make me less sensitive.
As another reviewer notes, the author discusses a woman who had a history of abuse and assault who finally started her artistic career after ending an abusive marriage. Aron does not note if the woman received therapy or other steps she might have taken and seems to imply that the woman was somehow "blocked" from her artistic abilities. That situation probably had less to do with sensitivity and more about healing from her past.
As yet another reviewer notes, Aron does get into New Age and religion. I won't deny that it probably helps many HSPs in their daily lives, but it went a little too far for me and I definitely just wanted the book to end.
It's unfortunate because it seems Aron is a leading figure when discussing HSPs and I had been very much looking forward to this book. I had also been considering downloading the workbook that goes with this, but it looks like I'll be skipping this and any other works by this author. I probably didn't like this mostly because it's self-help and I was just trying to get some concept of how to explain myself to other people Even with a rather tormented adolescence, I never thought there was anything 'wrong I probably didn't like this mostly because it's self-help and I was just trying to get some concept of how to explain myself to other people Even with a rather tormented adolescence, I never thought there was anything 'wrong' with my sensitivity.
I always liked being the way I was, so I think a separate book for people who are that way and enjoy it is in order. I would have preferred this if it had been geared at informing and not at fixing the way we think about sensitivity. Understanding something leads to changing our concept, and telling a large group of variable people how to change something is just not helpful.
I also thought she was basing too much of it on how she is, as a sensitive person. It would have been beneficial if she would have talked about her own experience so that there was some context in the form of a caveat about how the information would apply to us. More research and less personal experience would have added credibility.
Jan 30, Sarah rated it did not like it Shelves: If I hadn't read Quiet before reading this book, I may have given it 2 or 3 stars instead. There were a few helpful discussions of sensitivity and the differences between sensitive and non-sensitive people, but overall.. The author sounds very stuck in her way of thinking, and the style of writing was very grating. Everything was about childhood trauma except for the excerpt that said it wasn't all abo Quiet: Everything was about childhood trauma except for the excerpt that said it wasn't all about childhood trauma, really There was a whole lot of shock factor -- she would start talking about a client, then all of a sudden drop "sexual abuse" all over the description and talk about childhood trauma.
In one case, she talked about a former classmate who was teased, but who was getting better and moving on, and then -- bam! I have no tolerance for this kind of writing. Especially since this is in a book about highly sensitive people, you'd think she would know better than to pull that. Don't recommend. If you want to know about introversion and sensitivity, Quiet is a much better and more helpful book.
View all 5 comments. I actually found this book to be very helpful. Highly sensitive people share many of the same attributes: They are typically highly intelligent, very creative, compassionat I actually found this book to be very helpful. They are typically highly intelligent, very creative, compassionate, spiritual, and are deeply affected by the arts.
They are sensitive many things both internally and externally that most in the general population overlook, such as slight changes in a room, and the moods of others. They are also very easily over-aroused by various forms of external stimuli excess noise, chaos, too many people, bright lights, etc often needing to retreat from the stimuli in order to regain their sanity.
In fact the majority of the book centers on coping with over-arousal, the HSP Achilles' heel. HSP's tend to fall in love hard and form strong attachments to certain individuals, and are significantly affected by traumatic events in their childhoods.
Other hallmark traits of HSP's are that they form very close friendships, often have problematic relationships with doctors who, in order to survive med school, tend to not relate to the highly sensitive , are valued in their vocation for integrity and work ethic, but are not good self-promoters. They often don't do well with transition and change.
These extremely sensitive individuals are not "flawed," as our non-HSP counterparts may lead us to believe personally, although my sensitivity has challenged me, I don't share the author's defensive viewpoint that I am under-valued because of it. According to the author, Western and Indo-European societies tend to under-value many HSP attributes such as introversion, but HSP's are actually important contributors to a balanced civilization, acting as the advisors, judges, and spiritual leaders to the population majority's "warrior king" tendency to fearlessly expand and conquer.
The HSP tendency to "pause and check" is the cautious counterpoint that keeps civilizations in tact. I highly recommend this book for anyone who thinks they fall under the category of a highly sensitive person. I picked it up because it was recommended to me and although I was a little skeptical because it was one author's research and perspective, I was floored by how much of what she described fit my personality completely - in fact, not only me, but a few of my family members as well extreme sensitivity is an inherited genetic trait.
Aron writes in a manner that helps the HSP not only to cope with, but to celebrate their unique qualities. Society needs a select group of individuals who are creative, docile, and spiritually in tune to effectively function.
In some cultures such as China, the HSP personality is the most highly-valued. I found the chapters on physical treatment particularly helpful medications such as SSRI's or anti-anxiety meds may be helpful for HSP's both in the short or long term, but aren't necessarily a good fit for everyone. It should also be pointed out that some of her conclusions about SSRI's may be outdated as more research has been done since this book's publication in ' My favorite chapter was the final chapter, which focuses on the HSP's tie to the spiritual realm.
It was actually very practical, citing examples about how HSP's, religious and non- religious alike, tend to look inward and seek for explanations beyond what can be explained by science. Aug 16, Salma rated it did not like it. View all 30 comments. Mar 04, Cindy rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Those learning about people. Ever wonder why some people perceive almost everything while others seem oblivious?
Ever wonder why some folks seem overwhelmed at times while others see to manage through those markets and crowds without a care? Ever wonder why some are told they are just too sensitive, which makes them distance themselves from others? Have you ever thought you were weird because you couldn't stand to watch movies or read books with a lot of violence in them while other people seemed to love that stuff?
Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed from being around a lot of noise, strong scents, or bright lights, especially florescent lights? Have you ever been called "too sensitive" or "too shy? Are you particularly sensitive to changes in temperature, body language, and your surroundings? Do other people's moods affect you? If so, you might be highly sensitive. No, this is not one of those self-help books written by a quack who is going to try to convince you to eliminate all forms of stress, including family, a job, and bills from your life in order to nourish your soul.
But it is a book that will change your life if you think you might be highly sensitive. I know, it sounds silly, but I'm telling you, as soon as I sat down to read this book, I felt like someone finally understood all of the little quirks about me that other people have always thought were weird but have always just been part of who I am.
I even talked to a few of my friends who I think might be highly sensitive, and they felt the same way. I decided to read this after Anne from Modern Mrs. Darcy modernmrsdarcy.
I remember the blog post distinctly because it was the first time I had ever heard anyone else mention the topic of people who tend to "screen" books with violent content because they prefer to avoid any type of entertainment with it. As someone who has always avoided books, movies and TV shows with violence as well as scary movies in general, this caught my attention.
I always thought that my tendency to avoid scary movies was due to my overactive imagination that caused me to have frequent and vivid nightmares after watching these types of movies, which is in part true, but this is also a sign that you might be highly sensitive. Aron, a licensed psychiatrist, takes readers on a journey through the mind of a highly sensitive person.
If you yourself are highly sensitive, you'll learn more about how your mind and body work. You'll learn how to view yourself as someone who is unique and ultimately needed in the universe.
I particularly liked Aron's notes on the idea of a warrior-king type of personality and the idea of a more sensitive advisor type of personality and the benefits to society of both. I appreciated that while Aron encourages neither type of personality to view theirs as superior, each does have its own advantages. For example, as a sensitive person, you might be considered shy, sometimes aloof, or even arrogant, since you tend to keep to yourself and find it hard to make friends.
You tend to avoid social engagements with a large number of people and lots of noise and sounds, so people sometimes might think of you as a party pooper. But on the flip side, sensitive people are also the most compassionate, the most intuitive, and the most creative of all personality types. If you find yourself reading this book and realizing you are more than likely a highly sensitive person, you'll begin to look at past events in your life with a new understanding, perhaps even realizing why you reacted to certain things and people the way you did.
For some people, this might be a laughable subject. The idea that someone can be "highly sensitive. But if you find you just might belong to this category of rare but unique people, chances are if you find yourself on a site like GoodReads that encourages one to read as much as you can, you just might be then I highly suggest giving this a look. I've found a lot of valuable info on working with others, building relationships with others, and having a more stressless environment that allows my highly sensitive self to thrive in this book, and I highly recommend it to others who might be searching for the same peace of mind.
Jan 01, Alexandra marked it as didnt-finish Shelves: DNF - Chapter 5 of I give up. So far not what I was looking for. I know I'm not "flawed" and my self-esteem is fine. What I was hoping to find here are ways to improve interactions with others, including hopefully ways to help them understand and accept I am not like them, but not "broken" or needing to "try harder" to be more like them.
This book so far has been all over the place. It's talking about "highly sensitive" to outside stimuli, but then talks about sensitivity in regards to being caring and nurturing, as if those things are the same or always go together - which is untrue.
It also paints non-HSPs in a bad light, as those prone to aggressive, even violent, behavior, uncaring about environmental issues, the evil corporate CEO, etc. Makes it sound like the author thinks all social liberals are HSPs, who are loving, nurturing, caring and peaceful people and all social conservatives are non-HSPs and evil warmongers out to destroy the environment.
Sorry, but I don't think highly sensitive introverts are all in one political box, nor do I think all those who are not sensitive to outside stimuli, or enjoy it, are all evil, uncaring, unfeeling people. This book so far is a mess. It's mixing up meanings of "sensitive" as if they're all interchangeable, and throwing in political stereotypes and even some religious new-agey stuff.
At chapter 5 the only thing remotely helpful it's said is to advise to mute commercials when watching TV as commercials are intended to be highly stimulating.
Everything else so far either doesn't apply to me even though I scored high on the test included , is insulting and generalities to non-HSP people, contradictory or obviously false. I'm giving up. I recommend The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World instead.
It's much better and much more helpful in my opinion. Nov 25, Joel rated it really liked it Shelves: Aron has caught on to the fact that some of us are more susceptible to stimulation than others.
She offers a checklist of characteristics that might indicate that you are highly sensitive including Aron has caught on to the fact that some of us are more susceptible to stimulation than others.
She offers a checklist of characteristics that might indicate that you are highly sensitive including awareness of subtleties in your environment, being easily startled, having a rich inner life, being moved by the arts and music, and being sensitive to things like bright lights, loud noises, and caffeine. It's a matter of culture, she insists. And her job is to help HSPs see their promise as persons in a civilization that holds the warrior to be of greater value than the scientist.
You're a complicated being, she insists, and you should not reduce yourself to genes and systems. Here I think she has a valid point. Too often we who suffer from depression and bipolar disorder identify ourselves as our disease. If we see our destiny as hard-wired, there's not a lot we can do for ourselves. We become little more than lab rats, testing one medication after another because the results aren't perfect.
We may decide that the aim of our therapy is to numb ourselves to all pain -- a goal that we may be surprised to find is not shared by our psychiatrist or therapist. She believes that there may be a doctor's culture which seems any kind of sensitivity as being a bad thing. I would remind her that most of us turned to doctors because the world leaned on us too hard, that being totally open and free not only got us in trouble but hurt - bad.
Still, there are things about this book that make it a worthwhile read for those of us suffering from mood disorders. The world does often stimulate us beyond our sensitivities and we need to take steps to lessen that effect. Aron points out that medications need to be seen as a safety net to keep us from going too high or too low. In no way should we see them as the way to introduce dramatic changes in our personality. Drugs or no drugs, we have an obligation to understand ourselves and to take steps to fulfill our promise as persons.
Oct 01, Holly Lindquist rated it it was ok Shelves: I remember feeling quite jazzed about this book when I first read it. After all, I was so shy that I didn't really begin to connect with my peers until late middle school.
I felt overwhelmed every time I had to leave my house and whenever I was around people I was a tightly wound ball of anxiety and irritation. I always felt I was way more sensitive to nearly everything than most people, and here was a book that seemed to validate my experience and offer solutions. Except the solutions didn't rea I remember feeling quite jazzed about this book when I first read it. Except the solutions didn't really work.
I even went to a Highly-Sensitive People support group for a time. I remember almost everybody in that room spoke very softly and had nervous rumbly stomachs. There was very little eye contact. We were like a bunch of vibrating tuning forks. It was interesting, but oddly unhelpful.
I stopped going after awhile. I figured my sensitivity was something I just had to motor on with. However, my problem was something more complex than just being "highly-sensitive". I have Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the autistic spectrum.
A great deal of the sensitivities described in The Highly Sensitive Person could be applied directly to a mildly autistic person. Do loud noises make you cringe into a quivering ball? Of course. Do you sometimes feel antagonized by clothing tags?
Hellz yes. Do you go into a tailspin when forced to socialize for too long? Well, duh. And so on and so on.. I just found about my Asperger's at age 32 and I really can't help thinking I could have used such a discovery a bit earlier in my life.. I strongly suspect that other "Aspies" have gone over this book, chalked up their many quirks to just being sensitive, and then been left in the lurch when the one-dimensional approach to a far more complicated issue fails to improve their situation.
Looking back, I suspect that several people in that support group I attended had undiagnosed Asperger's and I hope they were able to find assistance that was tailored more specifically to their needs. So, to sum up, this book may be helpful to people who are a bit more sensitive or naturally shy, but its ambiguity may lead some in entirely the wrong direction.
Finally, if you think you may be something more than just sensitive, if you're often confounded by social situations that don't faze others, or if you find yourself wondering if you're even living in the same sensory world as most people, than there is a fabulous online test for Asperger's called The Aspie Quiz. Google it. This is not a character flaw, but simply another way of looking at the world that makes these people slightly more cautious. She posits that, if well managed, this is a trait that balances out the full speed ahead approach that much of the rest of the population has.
It's given me a lot to think about, and is well written for the most part, though I am sometimes very puzzled by Jung Date published: Rated 5 out of 5 by Irene from Owning our Sensitivity! Elaine Aron has liberated many people from a sense of being 'out of step' with the rest of society. Now, rather than feeling inferior and incompetent in many areas of life, we can bask in and embrace the knowledge of our unique giftedness which can only make the world a better place when understood and acted upon in our 'priestly advisor'capacities.
Rather than spend our lives cowtowing to the 'warriors' of the world, we can step forward, albeit gently, to speak our truth and offer much needed guidance and healing to a world wracked with brutal competiveness and harshness. This book is written in a profoundly heartfelt and understandable manner while conveying and retaining the author's professional and scientific integrity.
A must read for anyone who feels their sensitivity has been an obstacle to personal success in life and love or to anyone who has endured the 'stigma' of being a highly sensitive person in a culture which lacks much needed compassion. Kudos to Elaine Aron and her fine efforts on our behalf. Date published: Rated 5 out of 5 by Renee from Freedom!!!! This book has truly impacted my life in a marvelous way.
To discover that my reactions to the world around me are not strange and unusual! What freedom to know that this is a gift, not a curse! Elaine Aron's book is a wonderful tool for discovering the advantages and disadvantages of this gift, and how to cope with the disadvantages.
I love it! The knowledge that everything, from a fleeting thought to a physical act, has an equally powerful impact on our lives is both exciting and terrifying Date published: Rated 4 out of 5 by anonymous from Sensitivity as character trait not flaw Excellent.
This book helped me reframe many of my childhood experiences in a much more positive light. Viewing sensitivity as an inherent trait, rather than a character flaw has changed how I feel about myself.
If you answered more than 12 questions with yes, then you are probably a highly sensitive person. The more questions you answered with yes, the more sensitive you probably are. The more questions you answered with yes, the more crucial it is for you to learn how to manage your over-sensitivity.
The same situation and the same stimulation cause different levels of stress and arousal in different people. And again, you inherited it, not learned to be over sensitive. Some people and even animals are a little bit more sensitive than others, some a lot more.
So there is a scale of how oversensitive you really are in which direction. Your over sensitive nervous system makes you different.
Why the sensitivity of your nervous system is that important is very simple. You perform best at any kind of situation or task when your nervous system is moderately alert and aroused.
Too little arousal makes you dull and bored and you need extra stimulation coffee, social activity, career change etc. On the other hand, if you are too aroused, you become distressed, clumsy and confused. Since your nervous system is very sensitive, you can easily get too aroused. That kicks you out of the center and out of the optimal arousal state when you can perform best at a certain task. You are more aware of the subtle happenings in the environment, which you process in a semiconscious or unconscious way.
Processing more information leads to higher stimulation and to the final difference where something that is moderately arousing for most people can easily be highly arousing for a highly sensitive person. Different types of stimulation As a highly sensitive person, you have to be extremely careful about the level of stimulation you are exposed to. Stimulation is everything that wakes up the nervous system and makes brain neurons active.
The source of stimulation can be external or internal. You have to be extremely careful about the latter. And an over sensitive person reacts with arousal to any kind of stress. Different types of stimulation: External stimulation social activity, performing a task, being on a roller coaster etc. Internal stimulation intensive thoughts, hunger, pain etc. Stimulation in your control Stimulation out of your control Emotional stimulation Subtle stimulation Stress as stimulation Let me give you a practical example from my own life of how complicated all the stimuli can become.
When I enter a room of known people, I never engage with them with ease. I first sense what kind of a mood every individual is in. I assess who is talking to whom and why, and what all the potential topics could be. I grasp the vibes in the air, I notice if there were any changes made to the room, and so on. Only when I understand in detail and on a very subtle level what is happening with energies, words and actions in the room, can I properly engage.
I calculate all the possible ways to engage in the smoothest way possible. I need to first understand, and then I can act. I can easily take in vibes that are in the air, and if things are really out of the ordinary I might have trouble engaging at all. Two different types of highly sensitive people There are two systems in your brain. Behavioral activation takes in the information from the senses and gives orders to the limbs to get moving.
The purpose of this system is to move you forwards, especially towards new things food, new alliances etc. When this system is active you are curious, bold and impulsive. Behavioral inhibition, on the other hand, moves you away from things and makes you attentive to danger. This part of your brain makes you alert, cautious and watchful for signs; it compares the current situation to what had been normal in the past and what should be expected in the future.
If there are deviations, behavioral inhibition makes you stop and understand the situation first. Highly sensitive people have a much stronger behavioral inhibition system. But there can be two versions: Weak activation system and average inhibition strength — These people are usually calm, quiet and like a simple life.
They are usually advisors or monk type of people. Strong activation and inhibition system — These are people who are curious and cautious, bold and anxious, easily bored and aroused. There is a constant struggle between the advisor and warrior within. The environment of a highly sensitive person matters a lot Being a highly sensitive person is an inherited trait. But every inherited trait can be enhanced, decreased, woken up or eliminated by repeating life experiences or a subject functioning in a specific environment.
For highly sensitive people, bad environments can make things much worse. Life starts to seem frightening, the caution system gets even stronger, and all the negative experiences seem even more traumatic. Statistically, almost all depressed and anxious sensitive people had a troubled childhood. That leads to a huge level of stress, damaged health, complete inhibition, different kinds of mental problems, severe negative thoughts , low self-esteem, and issues like Complex PTSD.
Highly sensitive children need to be understood and not to additionally deal with special problems caused by inadequate parents — underprotective or overprotective ones. If you had a troubled childhood, you have to reframe it in a positive situation and use other psychological tools to make peace with it.
More about that in the rest of the article. If you have a highly sensitive child, you need to become an especially understandable and encouraging caretaker. The same author wrote a book dedicated to over sensitive children that you should absolutely read. Why you are special as a highly sensitive person Every personality trait is a neutral one. Being highly sensitive is no exception to that. You were born to be among advisors and thinkers, the spiritual and moral leaders of your society.
There is every reason for pride.